So Sunday was one of "those days." I was so tired, and I could not figure out why. All I wanted to do was get in my bed and take a long nap with the dog. But, as you all know, with two kids, and said dog, and husband, and laundry, and well...life, i rarely, if ever, have the opportunity to do such a thing.
So Todd made the unfortunate mistake of asking me "Whats wrong with you?" uh....wrong thing to say. "Whats wrong with me? Whats WRONG with me? Nothing is WRONG with me I'm exhausted by my life...that's what is WRONG with me!"
So in honor of all you Mama's...those who work at home, those who work out of the home, and those who can do it with a smile and not totally losing it, and for those of you, who are like me, who do occasionally lose it...i give you.
Why is Mama tired?
BEEP BEEP BEEP, alarm clock. get up, SNOOZE, get back in bed, get back up, let the dog out, let the dog in, open a diet dr pepper, take vitamin, jump in shower and forget to shave my legs. "MAMA!!!!!! ZACH IS HITTING ME!!!!" crap. didn't know they were already up. Let dog out, let dog in. Make breakfast. Crap! Out of milk. It'll have to be pop tarts or oatmeal. Get dressed, put on some makeup, hair will have to stay wet.
"wear this. no, you can not wear that. no, you cant wear camo boots to school. yes, you need a raincoat. no, you can not have four ponytails, no you have to wear socks, yes, you are buying your lunch, no, you cant take the silly bandz....please Mallory just wear the bow, please Zachary, just get your shoes on...Where are your shoes? What do you mean you left them at karate? Where is the other twinkle toe. No, you have to wear two shoes that match." Let dog out, let dog in, fill dogs water bowl. 5 minutes late, 10 minutes late, still...no shoes. For some reason we are all screaming at each other about these shoes...
Get in the car, "I want Taylor Swift. I hate Taylor Swift! I want Big Time Rush! I Hate Big Time Rush. MAMA he is looking out my window. MAMA!!!! She touched my DS!!!! MAMA!!! turn on a movie. MAMA!!!!! She is looking at me!!!! MAMA!!!! He is making faces at me!!!!! Drop off one kid and i'm so sweet, "Have a great day baby, mama loves you." He says "Bye Mama, Love you too!" whew, some sweetness...Drop off other kid, she sees her best friend with no bow so it starts all over "You made me wear a bow! You're not nice! You always make me be embarrased!" Her teacher makes her kiss me goodbye because now she is mad at me and "not gonna talk to me ever ever again." I love you Mal, have a great day... "No you dont"..she says as im walking out...
Whew. Some silence for the drive to work. Dang, I need gas. Crap! I forgot my lunch, and my phone. Half way there I realize i'm still listening to Big Time Rush. Wait, is that Snoop Dog in the Big Time Rush song?
Work. Work. Work. Answer questions, answer emails, return phone calls, love other people's children like my own. Tired. Need a nap. I was up all night, Letting the dog out and letting the dog in. What will I eat for lunch?
Pick up kid, drop him off at karate, run to Walgreens, exercise if i have time, grocery store, forgot milk, back to grocery store. Pick up other kid. Drop off library books.Pick up from karate, come home, fight over homework now or homework later while I cook tacos, DANG! forgot cheese. Call husband to pick up cheese because "I cant eat taco's without cheese!" " I'm not eating this! Can I have chicken nuggets!?Can I have cereal for dinner? What about a piece of cookie cake? Cut the king cake! She ALWAYS gets the baby!!!! MAMA!!!!! Zach took a mandarin orange off my plate!!! MAMA!!! Mallory took a drink of my root beer so I hit her and she deserved it. I will not say im sorry cause I dont want her germs!" Choke down two tacos and and take the dog for a walk to try to get a little peace and quiet and three minutes later, two children come barreling out of my house. They are screaming something but all the words are running together. I keep walking. Maybe they won't see me. Late baseball practice tonight, better quit hiding, better go back. Put the dishes in the dishwasher, clean taco meat off floor before dog gets it. Check folder, check homework, check email. Feed dog. She's the only one who doesn't fuss at me. Even when i'm late feeding her. Talk to dog like she is a baby. Feel stupid cause I half way expect she is gonna answer me.
Bath time. "You have to take a bath." "Why? I didn't sweat today" "Because i'm the mom, that's why!!!!" Pick out pajamas, pick out clothes. Why? We will not agree on these choices in the morning. "Where did yall take off your shoes? Let's put them by the door!" Little eyes roll at me, and I pull the "I'm gonna go get your daddy card" even though i'm not sure why...
Bedtime. Everybody to bed! Watch one more Victorious, watch one more Power Rangers. Where is night-night? Where is lovey dog? "Please go to sleep!" "Night Night Mal, I love you!" "Night Night Zach, I love you." Night Night Daddy, love you." "Love you too, Mama" from Zach. "Love you too Momsters" from Mal. "Night babe" from Todd. Let the dog out, let the dog in. Put clothes in dryer, put new load in washer. Hope I don't forget those. Fold clothes. Hang some up. Put some on steps. I'm too tired to go up. Dang, I missed Glee! I've been thinking all day it was Monday.
One more pass through, everyone sleeping tight. Everyone's covered up. Even Daddy. One more tuck in, one more kiss even though they are sleeping. Turn on night lights, turn off tv's. Step on Hot Wheel. Trip over Baby Alive who starts talking and scares the crap out of me. Say things that my kids don't need to hear so i'm glad they are asleep.
Finally I'm going to bed, and im wondering.."Why am I so tired?"